¡ASK A MEXICAN!
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Readers: I asked half-breeds a couple of weeks ago to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed Mexican heritage. Many, muchos responses continue to trickle ingracias for the submissions. Following is a handy glossary that ustedes wrote, with the occasional Mexican commentaryenjoy!
If you’re half-Mexican and Half-African: Afrijoles
Half-Black: Black beans, Blaxican, Choco-Taco, Negrexican
Half-Arab: Garbanzo beaner, America’s worst nightmare
Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, Combination Plate, Mexinese, rice-n-beans
Half-Cornish: Cornish tortilla
Half-Costa Rican: Mextica (“tico” is a nickname for Costa Ricans)
Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian
Half-Filipino: Chilipino, Mexipino
Half-Gabacho: Ameril-anga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Gabaxicano, Güerexican, Mixican, Whispanic, white bean
Half-German: Beaners-chnitzel, Germexican, wiener beaner
Half-Greek: Greexican, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever)
Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapín is a nickname for Guatemalans)
Half-Hawaiian: Pineapple salsa
Half-Indian (the India kind): Curry tamale
Half-Indian (the Indian kind): Navajole
Half-Irish: Leprecano, green bean, McBeaner
Half-Italian: Mexican pizza, Spic-talian
Half-Japanese: Japanic, Mexanese
Half-Jewish: Jalapeño bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit nectar drink), Kahlua-jewa, kosher burrito, Mexi-Jew
Half-Polish: Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui)
Half-Redneck: Red-nexican, Redback, Wetneck
Half-Russian: Brown Russian
Other Latinos also joined the game. A half-Spanish, half-American called himself “spam,” a Cuban Jew goes by Jewban, while a Peruvian from Minnesota describes herself as a Minneruvian. Meanwhile, a Puerto Rican from New York insisted that dominicanos were half-Dominican, half-anus (ano is “anus” in Spanish). And a half-Indian, half-Jew wrote in at the last moment with his moniker: Gandhistein. But the final, wisest word goes to a full-blooded gabacho:
How about an American, like all of us mutts?
Don’t see your nickname? E-mail me below, and I’ll compile a full list for my as-yet-unfinished web page!